Relationship counselling and astrology
After many years of doing horoscope compatibility consultations I have come to the conclusion that Relationship counselling and Astrology needs to be done together.
Many couples do not understand the intricacies and technicalities of match making, People always think match making as a magic pill which can just help them find the right match with a click of a button.
Horoscope compatibility is not an easy business. This has become a marketing gimmick of matrimonial websites to offer free match making services.
Some people think that they have mastered astrology and argue with astrologers that horoscope has so and so points, or certain planetary combinations are like this and that.
Dear Couples and Dear parents of to be couples,
If match making was so easy like just entering the birth details and getting the result through number of points you would have seen more happy marriages, but it is not so. Match making is not as easy as it seems.
First of all try to understand the desh, kaal, paristhiti. (Jyotish Shastra says one should see horoscopes and give predictions with respect to desh, kaal, paristhiti).
Some reasons affection relationships
- Today couples are independent, women are independent, jointly families are slowly diminishing. The pressure of financial security, stability, competition in jobs is increasing. Technology has made people hyper and over sensitive with lack of focus, patience and ability to make adjustments unlike the previous generations.
- In arrange marriages Parent’s have high expectations from and equally high interference in married life, The pressure of society is too high to let anyone choose partner of their own choice. In high societies marriages happen as a business deal rather than a marriage of two people actually as a fact.
- In love marriages couples tend to fall in love at the blink of eye but there is no commitment and patience to face problems together, girls don’t want responsibility of family. Freedom and independence is most required for them.
- Most Couples spend most of the time at workplace, hardly spend time at home with their spouses, this increases possibilities of extra-marital relationships due to more exposure to other people than spouse, this is applicable to both sexes. Few have a sense of commitment and responsibility, most of us are slowly becoming slaves of technology and want to shred responsibilities.
- Automation in everything is slowly picking up in everything, gay and lesbian marriages are also picking up. Cost of living has increased and moral values are degrading.
Considering all the reasons above match making becomes a more complex task.
Factors for Checking horoscope compatibility
- First of all there should be a promise of good marriage and married life in both horoscopes.
- Lagna and Rasi if belonging to same element or compatible element is best.
- Planets of both should be compatible with each other.
- Promise of longevity and children should be checked.
- Lagna and rasi shadastaka together cause severe issues as all 12 houses will never be in sync in such cases leading to imbalance in all areas of life from finance to children to sexual compatibility to everything.
- The most important thing is to understand the complexities of mind of both people, How a person will react to a certain situation, whether he lacks patience, has patience, can adjust with situations, will stick to commitment etc is important.
- Nature of a person goes a long way in giving happiness in relationships. This is why the importance of moon is high in horoscope, just checking a rashi of moon is not enough. The placement, affliction, influence of other planets, paksha bala etc is very important to gauge the psychological impact.
- Person with afflicted moon and mercury tend to be more psychotic and hyper, with high anxiety levels and lack of patience. Such people will always have duality of mind and most complex psychological mechanism, they never find happiness as a rule, because happiness is a state of mind and not the matter around you.
- Divorces are not sudden phenomenon but gradual process which indicate inability of two people to adjust together or have strong commitment towards each other, here often bride’s parents are also the reason for divorce due to high interference now-a-days.
- So couples need to understand all these things, weigh the pros and cons, look at the psychological make-up and ask themselves whether they will be able to face the issues or just find a way to get out ?
- You have to understand the challenges and threat in horoscope compatibility. It is not as easy as just checking the gun-milan points or checking rasi and lagna and giving a nod. It is an experts job to tell you or make you aware about the challenges you will face in the relationship together and find whether you are really willing to face this together or not ready for such commitment.
- Some horoscopes do not promise a sound marriage and married life, it is difficult for such people to be happy in married life if they do not have patience and a psychological make-up to cope with the issues calmly. You cannot forcefully match horoscopes of such people and they should be made aware of it in Relationship counselling and Astrology.
- Remedies work but people should also be willing to change their attitude and faults. While taking medicines you follow strict eating habits and discipline similarly while doing remedies you should follow strict discipline and try to reduce the root cause of problem if it is within yourself, like ego, temper, lack of patience, lack of commitment, lack of ability to adjust.
- Identifying the root cause of problem and working on it helps rather than just performing remedies without making changes in yourself. Remedies have certain discipline following that discipline with trust and faith helps you to change from within. A change from within is a pre-requisite to have change situations change from outside.
- Where the problems are actually from outer influences remedies prescribed in shastra definitely help to change or modify them but one should have unflinching faith in shastra and rishi vachan.
Horoscope compatibility is not about gun-milan.
It is about understanding the psychological make-up of other people.
Matching them with somebody compatible to them or counselling them to understand the challenges they will face in relationship if they marry.
Checking promise of marriage and married life is first pre-requisite. The problem or area of problem should be identified and conveyed and they should ponder whether they are capable of facing the issues, sticking to commitment or overcome the trouble together or not ?
Shadastaka of lagna and rasi and many planets clearly indicate no compatibility and syncing of two such people and such matches should be avoided for own good, here no counselling will probably work because this has connection with things like progeny which gets affected because a 5th house of one having watery element and other having fiery element does not match more so if it is a shadastaka and afflictions to such 5th house plus naadi dosha etc clearly says that there will be problems ranging from genetic issues to no happiness or weak children and children more prone to weakness and illness than other couples.
This way Relationship Counselling and astrology should be used for couples who are keen to go ahead. This is only required if you are keen to go ahead in any relationship seriously.
The reason to write this article is people should know about the complexity of horoscope match making and compatibility analysis which a astrologer actually does or should do.
The one who just checks gun-milan should be outright rejected because having high score will not assure a good marriage and neither does a low score indicate bad married life.